tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29994244676518583142024-03-04T23:16:28.092-08:00I Can Has WeblogMaohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-29952535444764102922010-03-01T18:51:00.000-08:002010-03-01T18:53:21.679-08:00A True or False Quiz<div>A True or False Quiz:</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Question 1) 1+1 = 2. T/F?</div><div><br /></div><div>Question 2) 2+2 = 4. T/F?</div><div><br /></div><div>Question 3) One of the statements in this quiz is false. T/F?</div><div><br /></div><div>Question 4) 3+3 = 6. T/F?</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>This one hurts my head.</div>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-13875408993915472352009-05-17T16:36:00.000-07:002009-05-17T16:38:36.334-07:00Again from Tom Jones<span class="textni12">This excellent method of conveying a falsehood with the heart only, without making the tongue guilty of an untruth, by the means of equivocation and imposture, hath quieted the conscience of many a notable deceiver; and yet, when we consider that it is Omniscience on which these endeavour to impose, it may possibly seem capable of affording only a very superficial comfort; and that this artful and refined distinction between communicating a lie, and telling one, is hardly worth the pains it costs them.</span>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-70034980964446512842009-04-26T10:11:00.000-07:002009-04-26T10:13:18.566-07:00An Excerpt from Henry Fielding's novel Tom Jones<p>Upon all these occasions the world seems to have embraced a maxim of our law, viz., <i>cuicunque in arte sua perito credendum est:</i> for it seems perhaps difficult to conceive that any one should have had enough of impudence to lay down dogmatical rules in any art or science without the least foundation. In such cases, therefore, we are apt to conclude there are sound and good reasons at the bottom, though we are unfortunately not able to see so far.</p> <p>Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them men of much, greater profundity than they really are. From this complacence, the critics have been emboldened to assume a dictatorial power, and have so far succeeded, that they are now become the masters, and have the assurance to give laws to those authors from whose predecessors they originally received them.</p> <p>The critic, rightly considered, is no more than the clerk, whose office it is to transcribe the rules and laws laid down by those great judges whose vast strength of genius hath placed them in the light of legislators, in the several sciences over which they presided. This office was all which the critics of old aspired to; nor did they ever dare to advance a sentence, without supporting it by the authority of the judge from whence it was borrowed.</p> <p>But in process of time, and in ages of ignorance, the clerk began to invade the power and assume the dignity of his master. The laws of writing were no longer founded on the practice of the author, but on the dictates of the critic. The clerk became the legislator, and those very peremptorily gave laws whose business it was, at first, only to transcribe them.</p> <p>Hence arose an obvious, and perhaps an unavoidable error; for these critics being men of shallow capacities, very easily mistook mere form for substance. They acted as a judge would, who should adhere to the lifeless letter of law, and reject the spirit. Little circumstances, which were perhaps accidental in a great author, were by these critics considered to constitute his chief merit, and transmitted as essentials to be observed by all his successors. To these encroachments, time and ignorance, the two great supporters of imposture, gave authority; and thus many rules for good writing have been established, which have not the least foundation in truth or nature; and which commonly serve for no other purpose than to curb and restrain genius, in the same manner as it would have restrained the dancing-master, had the many excellent treatises on that art laid it down as an essential rule that every man must dance in chains.</p>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-64134196225921700942009-03-13T11:21:00.001-07:002009-03-13T11:22:08.838-07:00An Old QuoteImitating a 14 year old playing Quake<br /><br />"Wahh wahh my braces hurt when you frag me" X-JustXMaohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-6592312065183376572008-12-20T10:18:00.001-08:002008-12-20T10:18:57.058-08:00Mayo Playing TF2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaKJbAXeS0OFDDw-r-grRYjfAH-Nbuhjwx9ibuyvOf0fgLJzCK27Cr_LpTp1l1GpzUrUvXHvypTirhFl7QmpypIv8Qti1xUDDiFtFXKRu1zpm6-R8-yunO8p9xlJ2-vNvmg8_H7IDNkqs/s1600-h/mayo_playing_tf2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaKJbAXeS0OFDDw-r-grRYjfAH-Nbuhjwx9ibuyvOf0fgLJzCK27Cr_LpTp1l1GpzUrUvXHvypTirhFl7QmpypIv8Qti1xUDDiFtFXKRu1zpm6-R8-yunO8p9xlJ2-vNvmg8_H7IDNkqs/s320/mayo_playing_tf2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5281938414769138658" border="0" /></a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-54935596896061641732008-10-19T12:41:00.001-07:002008-10-19T12:41:14.111-07:00War and PeaceCHAPTER XXXVIII<br /><br />Napoleon at the battle of Borodino fulfilled his office as<br />representative of authority as well as, and even better than, at other<br />battles. He did nothing harmful to the progress of the battle; he<br />inclined to the most reasonable opinions, he made no confusion, did<br />not contradict himself, did not get frightened or run away from the<br />field of battle, but with his great tact and military experience<br />carried out his role of appearing to command, calmly and with dignity.Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-19698182160984349612008-06-30T19:31:00.000-07:002008-06-30T19:32:04.580-07:00How do you throw out a garbage can?Well?Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-35488827420642455332008-03-01T09:14:00.001-08:002008-03-01T09:14:21.772-08:00New Rules for D&D 4th Edition1. Cannot base characters off the Ash from the Evil Dead movies.<br />2. A one man band is not an appropriate bard instrument.<br />3. There is no Dwarven god of heavy artillery.<br />4. My 7th Sea character Boudreaux is not the 'Southern' Montaigne.<br />5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills.<br />6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan.<br />7. Nor is "Kill them all and let God sort them out"<br />8. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.<br />9. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook.<br />10. My monk's lips must be in sync.<br />11. Just because my character and I can speak German, doesn't mean the GM can.<br />13. Not allowed to berserk for the hell of it, especially during royal masquerades.<br />13. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer.<br />14. Must not murder canon NPCs in their sleep, no matter how cliche they are.<br />15. Ogres are not kosher.<br />16. Plan B is not automatically twice as much explosives as Plan A.<br />17. I will not beat Tomb of Horrors in less than 10 minutes from memory.<br />18. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero.<br />19. When surrendering I am to hand the sword over HILT first.<br />20. Drow are not good eating.<br />21. Polka is not appropriate marching music.<br />22. No longer allowed to recreate the Death Star Trench Run out of genre.<br />23. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino.<br />24. Any character who has a sensitivity training center named after him will be taken away.<br />25. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales.<br />26. The green elf does not need food badly.<br />27. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin.<br />28. I am not to shoot every corpse in the head to make sure they aren't a zombie in Twilight 2000.<br />29. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.<br />30. I cannot have any gun that requires me to continue the damage code on back.<br />31. I am not to kill off all the vampires in the LARP, even if they are terminally stupid.<br />32. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.<br />33. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over.<br />34. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking'<br />35. I am not allowed to base any Droid off any character played by Joe Pesci.<br />36. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to play R2 units.<br />37. I am not allowed to convince the entire party to sit on the same side of the table.<br />38. They do not make black market illegal cyberweapons for rodents.<br />39. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepit mansion from the outside.<br />40. Dwarves do not have the racial ability 'can lick their eyebrows'<br />41. Dwarves do not have the racial ability to hold their breath for 10 minutes.<br />42. Dwarves do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'<br />43. Having a big nose adds nothing to my seduction check.<br />44. No longer allowed to set nazi propaganda music to a snappy disco beat.<br />45. Not allowed to spend all 100 character points on 100 1pt skills.<br />46. My character names are not allowed to be double entendres.<br />47. Sliver rhymes with silver because the computer frelling says so.<br />48. They do not make Nair in wookie sizes.<br />49. The elf is restricted to decaf for the rest of the adventure.<br />50. Not allowed to blow up the Death Star before that snotty farm kid gets his shot.<br />51. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first.<br />52. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls.<br />53. My bard does not know how to play Inna Godda Davida on marachas.<br />54. Not allowed to start a drow character weighing more than a quarter ton.<br />55. Cannot pimp out other party members.<br />56. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.<br />57. No matter how well I roll, a squirrel cannot carry a horse and rider at full sprint.<br />58. In the middle of a black op I cannot ask a guard to validate parking.<br />59. Expended ammunition is not a business expense.<br />60. Not allowed to pose the Netrunner in embarrassing positions when he's on a run.<br />61. Not allowed to short sheet the bedroll of impotent dieties.<br />62. Can only taunt the ranger about his lack of swimming after my USCG E8 saves him.<br />63. I am not allowed to do anything I saw Han Solo do once.<br />64. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please.<br />65. My paladin's battle cry is not "Good for the Good God"<br />66. There is no Summon Bimbo spell.<br />67. Not allowed to start a character that speaks every language except ones the party speaks.<br />68. There is no Kung Fu manuever "McGuire Swings For Bleachers"<br />69. Bring him back intact includes redundant organs.<br />70. There is more to wizardry than magic missile. Even if I can do 200 damage automatic with no save.<br />71. Not allowed to cook up nerve gas in the sink even if the target number is 5.<br />72. There is no 'annoy' setting on a phaser<br />73. Not allowed to start a character who is over 100 years old unless he's an elf or dwarf. Humans are right out.<br />74. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick.<br />75. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"<br />76. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"<br />77. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating.<br />78. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk.<br />79. Not allowed to commission a pistol that costs more than a sedan.<br />80. I am not liquid metal.<br />81. When accepting a challenge for a duel, I must allow the other guy time to find a pistol.<br />82. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon.<br />83. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste.<br />84. My gnome does not like big butts and he cannot lie.<br />85. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow.<br />86. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying an industrial strength flamethrower.<br />87. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot.<br />88. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana.<br />89. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.<br />90. The elf's name is not Legolam.<br />91. My swashbuckling fop cannot take the flaw Dark Secret: Not Gay<br />92. A wet towel does not constitute an improvised weapon.<br />93. The name of the weapon shop is not "Bloodbath and Beyond"<br />94. I am to remind my DM that he must never, ever give my paladin a dire boar for a mount again.<br />95. I cannot base my ancient kung fu master on neither Gene Simmons or Bluto Blutarski.<br />96. I must not put the Thunder God on the spot again.<br />97. No making up polearms.<br />98. My one wish cannot be 'I wish everything on this piece of paper was true'<br />99. There is no such thing as Speed Polka.<br />100. Not allowed to see if Jedi can parry a shotgun blast with their lightsaber.<br />101. When any character from a d20 sourcebook is allowed, that doesn't include System Lords.<br />102. I am not allowed to pave ANYTHING.<br />103. I am not authorized to start any civil engineering project on the taxpayer's dime.<br />104. There is no such thing as a Club +3 of Cup Checks<br />105. Nor is there a +1 Longsword, +5 against party members.<br />106. I am not allowed to polymorph anyone into Abe Vigoda.<br />107. I do not have weapon profiency in cat.<br />108. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet.<br />109. No, I do not get XP for every single crewman on that Star Destroyer.<br />110. Not allowed to kill a vampire with any part from a DC-10 larger than my car.<br />111. Not allowed to serenade the party even if my character has an internal tape deck.<br />112. I did not pick the garrote skill last week from my grandmother.<br />113. If the gun can't fit through the x-ray machine, it doesn't go on the plane.<br />114. My Droid is not allowed to paraphrase any Jack Nicholson soliloquy.<br />115. The Demilich only falls for getting stuffed in the bag of holding once.<br />116. My musical instrument does not double as a personal flotation device.<br />117. Not allowed to take a coffee break during the final super villain showdown.<br />118. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day.<br />119. I will pick a more traditional paladin weapon instead of a sledgehammer.<br />120. My character's names cannot be anagrams of playboy playmates.<br />121. Not allowed to kill another party member with a boomerang again.<br />122. I am not a contractor for Dragon Cave Cleaning Services Inc.<br />123. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal.<br />124. Not allowed to forget to mention traps when the powergamer has point.<br />125. I cannot insert the words "Kill Phil, Sorry Phil" into any list of instructions.<br />126. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.<br />127. Dwarves do not count as burrowing animals.<br />128. Not allowed to download Widows 3.5 on the Arasaka mainframe.<br />129. Polka Gnomes exist only in my mind.<br />130. Not allowed to name my ship The Antidisestablishmentarianism.<br />131. Gun Fu is not a martial arts discipline.<br />132. Not allowed to bet how many times the lich bounces.<br />133. There is no such feat called "Death Blossom"<br />134. My acrobat cannot balance on the warlord's head for more than one round.<br />135. The King's Guards official name is not "The Royal Order of the Red Shirt"<br />136. I cannot demand payment in electrum, backrubs or bubblewrap.<br />137. I cannot start the 7th Sea campaign with 3 confirmed Drachen kills.<br />138. I do not have a scorching case of lycanthropy.<br />139. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it.<br />140. My bard is required to take levels in the perform skill and cannot 'just play by ear'<br />141. The Dutch language does not exist in the Forgotten Realms.<br />142. My maid does not know kung fu.<br />143. Not allowed to give a 4 year old a sugar rush just to jack up the CR later.<br />144. Not allowed to buy a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right.<br />145. There is no such thing as pleather armor.<br />146. I cannot go back in time to cut in line at the Declaration of Independence so everybody now is asked for their Terrence E. Woczinski when signing documents.<br />147. Not allowed to play an Australian in any game set before 1600.<br />148. Hobbits are not allowed to have Norse ancestry.<br />149. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.<br />150. Looting the unguarded baggage train is not considered a glorious victory.<br />151. Not allowed to create recreational drugs in suppository format.<br />152. Halflings do not have a racial proficiency with the flamethrower.<br />153. When the guy is at -9 HP is not the best time for my cleric to convert him.<br />154. I will not propose to every noblewoman at the royal ball until I crit my charisma check.<br />155. I am not allowed to rub the monk's head for luck.<br />156. I am not allowed to rub any part of the elf chick for any reason.<br />157. When one person forgets to buy rations eating the half-elf is not our first option.<br />158. Any capital scale weapon is not 'my little friend'.<br />159. I will not declare myself a god just so I can grant myself spells.<br />160. Airlocks do not double as trash disposals.<br />161. I will not load any gatling weapon with nothing but paint rounds.<br />162. I will not nail every single female party member except for the elf chick played by that creepy guy.<br />163. What ever monster we just killed is not to be tonight's dinner.<br />164. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.<br />165. I am not to tattle to the halfling assassin's mom about his career choice.<br />166. I am forbidden from replacing anything with folger's crystals to see if they notice.<br />167. Not allowed to bribe the enemy commander into withdrawing with a stolen Elvis LP collection.<br />168. I was not recruited by Star League for any reason.<br />169. I was also not recruited by 12 dwarves and a wizard to rob a dragon.<br />170. I am neither the pagan god nor goddess of fertility.<br />171. I cannot name my character Xagyg or any anagram thereof.<br />172. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"<br />173. At no point can I justify spending force points on a seduction check.<br />174. I am not allowed to recreate Veers' March of the AT-ATs on Zhentil Keep.<br />175. There is no use of Shatner's spoken word album that doesn't require a humanity check.<br />176. I am not directly descended from either Huey Lewis or any member of the News.<br />177. I cannot make called shots to the plectrum, anvil, stirrup, hammer or Isle of Langerhans.<br />178. Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right.<br />179. There are no profanities in Celestial.<br />180. Chummer means he is my friend, not that sharks find him tasty.<br />181. I have neither the touch nor the power.<br />182. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos.<br />183. No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.<br />184. There are no rules for cooking corn dogs in any d20 supplement.<br />185. A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope.<br />186. My bard does not need roadies for a dungeon crawl.<br />187. No cutting line to be a god.<br />188. I cannot gain more than three drama die per session for making the GM pee.<br />189. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf.<br />190. Tourretes is not a flaw, it is a reason to kill the character at creation.<br />191. Duels wielding small animals are strictly forbidden.<br />192. My character is not related in anyway to Boba Fett. This goes double for Star Wars characters.<br />193. If the gun is best fired using the artillery skill, my character is not allowed to have it.<br />194. Not allowed to kill vampires with seismic charges.<br />195. When the other guy picks swords for the choice of weapons, that does not leave me pistols.<br />196. I cannot use a silent feat enambled power word stun and blame it on the dog.<br />197. I cannot name a character anything that I can't say politely in another country.<br />198. My epic level character cannot take on the minor goblin menace to his country just to stay sharp.<br />199. Not allowed to steal my own soul.<br />200. My third wish cannot be 'I wish you wouldn't grant this wish'<br />201. I cannot name my character cliche canon characters from other systems.<br />202. My thief is prohibited from speaking solely in Cant.<br />203. Character descriptions cannot contain two of the following words: Slavic, Tonedeaf, Karaoke, Musician.<br />204. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious.<br />205. I am not too sexy for the elf, too sexy for the elf, so sexy myself.<br />206. My 3rd ed. Red Wizard is not allowed to start a business named Thay Co.<br />207. I cannot forge a +1 sword of Brad's Min/Maxed Paladin/Monk Slaying.<br />208. The following weapons are not legal choices in a duel: Steamroller, Nerve Gas, Landmine, Midget.<br />209. I cannot whine about the crappy selection of magical bec de corbins.<br />210. My Paladin's heraldry is not a smiley face.<br />211. My Antipaladin's heraldry is not Mr. Yuk.<br />212. If at any point if my dwarf takes on the mannerisms of Macho Man Randy Savage, he dies.<br />212. If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel.<br />213. I am not the patron saint of common sense.<br />214. There is no prestige class Drizzt Slayer.<br />215. They do not make heavy weapons in pump action.<br />216. There is an upper limit to the number of Bozo boostergangers I can get in a Volkswagon.<br />217. If the weapon is capable of staking vampires hiding behind engine blocks, I can't have it.<br />218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.<br />219. In formal introductions to royalty, I must not introduce my companions as just "The Other Guys".<br />220. I am not the master of the low blow or the gang up.<br />221. If I get that Yugo up to 120mph again, that's gonna create some paradox.<br />222. Druids are not against my religion.<br />223. I cannot convince the Solo he has a cortex bomb when he really doesn't.<br />224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?<br />225. I am forbidden from monologuing.<br />226. Troll bubblegum...bad idea.<br />227. My last wish cannot be "I wish we were playing another game."<br />228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding WW2.<br />229. Not allowed to spontaniously check if the elf can take a punch.<br />230. There is no such thing as monofilament tooth floss.<br />231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.<br />232. Paul Watson and I are never allowed to create characters together unsupervised.<br />233. If I am the medtech it is generally assumed I am going to have skill in medicine.<br />234. My character does not get d34 HP a level.<br />235. My Samedi is required to have dots in obfuscate. Plural, as in more than one, two more than none.<br />236. My character has no need for 24,000 cartons of cigarettes, especially in his neighbor's garage.<br />237. Not allowed to use more than 3 words per game that the GM has to look up the definition.<br />238. My bard cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.<br />239. My rockerboy cannot play or has ever heard of the theremin, didgeridoo or glass armonica.<br />240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.<br />241. Cannot use the jedi mind trick to get out of a speeding ticket.<br />242. Not allowed to give quicklings Mountain Dew.<br />243. Cannot cast haste on the king during a long winded speech to get him to hurry the hell up.<br />244. Not allowed to taunt the rest of the party in 8 different languages because they forgot to take any.<br />245. Not allowed to attend any opera whose name the GM confuses with a strip joint.<br />246. I cannot keep selling that creepy guy's always naked elf chick to nomads every chance I get.<br />247. If the king rewards me with a forest, I am to assume he intends for me to keep it a forest.<br />248. There is no Dwarven God of groin shots.<br />249. If a black op requires me to impersonate an employee, I cannot bill the target for overtime.<br />250. Superfluous Man is not a viable superhero concept.Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-70538130034003819862007-12-16T09:19:00.001-08:002007-12-16T09:20:15.429-08:00I participated in Freedom<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfBiSFjIjkvkMJApn2bCTiImm4Dp-XKO056_ir-jw8fhjr_B0FfZdyvSiZdfNg5yEI8HqQGao0t-_-49ABduh8HVPUnJBIaoTnhljslm6Vsb6iN83a6f55PyfQOdyGX7Rhu_x_uiI1T-k/s1600-h/RP08_Small.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfBiSFjIjkvkMJApn2bCTiImm4Dp-XKO056_ir-jw8fhjr_B0FfZdyvSiZdfNg5yEI8HqQGao0t-_-49ABduh8HVPUnJBIaoTnhljslm6Vsb6iN83a6f55PyfQOdyGX7Rhu_x_uiI1T-k/s320/RP08_Small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5144621802843373042" border="0" /></a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-26825485379183727722007-10-23T13:26:00.000-07:002007-10-23T13:35:52.385-07:00Vogons<div> </div> <div> <p class="MsoNormal"><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;">Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"... offered by an English professor from the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placetype st="on">University</st1:PlaceType> of <st1:placename st="on">Colorado</st1:PlaceName></st1:place> for an actual class assignment:<br /><br />The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story.<br /><br />The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right or left. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me.<br /><br />The partner will read the first paragraph, and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on, back-and-forth.<br /><br />Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."<br /><br /></span></span><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;">The following was actually turned in by two of his English students, Rebecca and Gary:</span></span><br /><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;"><br />========================================================<br /><br /><br />THE STORY:<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;">(first paragraph by Rebecca)<br /><br />"At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question."<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;">(Second paragraph by <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Gary</st1:City></st1:place> )<br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span id="role_document" style="font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;color:black;"><span style="font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;">"Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said, into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit."<br /><br />(Rebecca):<br /><br />"He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space <st1:personname st="on">Travel</st1:PersonName>", Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully."<br /><br />(<st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Gary</st1:City></st1:place>):<br /><br />"Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mother ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks that pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress, had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires that were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of <st1:place st="on">Guam</st1:place>, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.<br /><br />(Rebecca):<br /><br />This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.<br /><br />(<st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Gary</st1:City></st1:place>):<br /><br />Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"<br /><br />(Rebecca):<br />As*h@le.<br /><br />(<st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Gary</st1:City></st1:place>):<br />B*tch!<br /><br />(Rebecca):<br />F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!<br /><br />(<st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Gary</st1:City></st1:place>):<br />In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.<br /><br />(TEACHER):<br />A+ . I really liked this one!<br /> <o:p></o:p></span></span></p></div>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-1090833932324120082007-10-22T07:16:00.000-07:002007-10-22T12:05:54.973-07:00Meow<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Fxke-Xs_wHA5ZeHsmec5K4wV-G4OBzsU5fWGM4xyukk_y5hbjYcatnKlEpOEKK5zvTRQOUwGDz9mEjYV9_md7wqhFZUej0HBqHUaA9i9lbiQrxVAcy1wSQ2kjANVjvc3A3Bo6TaGPsk/s1600-h/12380981_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Fxke-Xs_wHA5ZeHsmec5K4wV-G4OBzsU5fWGM4xyukk_y5hbjYcatnKlEpOEKK5zvTRQOUwGDz9mEjYV9_md7wqhFZUej0HBqHUaA9i9lbiQrxVAcy1wSQ2kjANVjvc3A3Bo6TaGPsk/s320/12380981_1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124239337549213026" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicT6thhpE0nU_VzhAOXZ2d39AHggh1RduRL662cMZQZ_Srqm01m12hod_EcVm6h_5Vh_roFGGDRVbxkmlbKHs1FzNUWHeUnb-yMpFZoTG_02spAmnecXhP-6-05SmeCaxX0gAVDUSfdrs/s1600-h/i-has-a-mentle-ilnus.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicT6thhpE0nU_VzhAOXZ2d39AHggh1RduRL662cMZQZ_Srqm01m12hod_EcVm6h_5Vh_roFGGDRVbxkmlbKHs1FzNUWHeUnb-yMpFZoTG_02spAmnecXhP-6-05SmeCaxX0gAVDUSfdrs/s320/i-has-a-mentle-ilnus.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124165210708651346" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabyj5HQX56zYKpECf4mysA3ZXnWLR4betAwK_JYao4SVhfZCxzDPP2Zl5xaJkEqimy3HJv1xR2gdgQw_ub5pPWng3FTtNj5KGv20babyCzkXB4aHfX_GWArtnU3NTkCk8hohqfMt9qyI/s1600-h/128340160283906250iiznotalcohol.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgabyj5HQX56zYKpECf4mysA3ZXnWLR4betAwK_JYao4SVhfZCxzDPP2Zl5xaJkEqimy3HJv1xR2gdgQw_ub5pPWng3FTtNj5KGv20babyCzkXB4aHfX_GWArtnU3NTkCk8hohqfMt9qyI/s320/128340160283906250iiznotalcohol.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5124165086154599746" border="0" /></a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-69854330085202919572007-10-19T13:20:00.001-07:002007-10-19T19:17:37.482-07:00Vote!Preferably for <a href="http://www.ronpaul2008.com/">Ron Paul 2008</a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-83233778032759624872007-10-07T14:35:00.000-07:002007-10-07T14:36:47.048-07:00What a BohrSome time ago I received a call from a colleague. He was about to give a student a zero for his answer to a physics question, while the student claimed a perfect score. The instructor and the student agreed to an impartial arbiter, and I was selected.I read the examination question:<br /><br />"SHOW HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO DETERMINE THE HEIGHT OF A TALL BUILDING WITH THE AID OF A BAROMETER."<br /><br />The student had answered, "Take the barometer to the top of the building, attach a long rope to it,lower it to the street, and then bring it up, measuring the length of the rope. The length of the rope is the height of the building."<br /><br />The student really had a strong case for full credit since he had really answered the question completely and correctly! On the other hand, if full credit were given, it could well contribute to a high grade in his physics course and to certify competence in physics, but the answer did not confirm this. I suggested that the student have another try. I gave the student six minutes to answer the question with the warning that the answer should show some knowledge of physics. At the end of five minutes, he had not written anything.<br /><br />I asked if he wished to give up, but he said he had many answers to this problem; he was just thinking of the best one. I excused myself for interrupting him and asked him to please go on. In the next minute, he dashed off his answer which read: "Take the barometer to the top of the building and lean over the edge of the roof. Drop the barometer, timing its fall with a stopwatch.Then, using the formula x=0.5*a*t^^2, calculate the height of the building." At this point, I asked my colleague if he would give up. He conceded,and gave the student almost full credit.<br /><br />While leaving my colleague's office, I recalled that the student had said that he had other answers to the problem,so I asked him what they were. "Well," said the student, "there are many ways of getting the height of a tall building with the aid of a barometer. For example, you could take the barometer out on a sunny day and measure the height of the barometer, the length of its shadow, and the length of the shadow of the building,and by the use of simple proportion, determine the height of the building." "Fine," I said, "and others?" "Yes," said the student, "there is a very basic measurement method you will like. In this method, you take the barometer and begin to walk up the stairs. As you climb the stairs, you mark off the length of the barometer along the wall. You then count the number of marks, and this will give you the height of the building in barometer units." "A very direct method." "Of course. If you want a more sophisticated method, you can tie the barometer to the end of a string, swing it as a pendulum, and determine the value of g at the street level and at the top of the building. From the difference between the two values of g, the height of the building,in principle, can be calculated." "On this same tact, you could take the barometer to the top of the building,attach a long rope to it, lower it to just above the street, and then swing it as a pendulum. You could then calculate the height of the building by the period of the precession". "Finally," he concluded, "there are many other ways of solving the problem.Probably the best," he said, "is to take the barometer to the basement and knock on the superintendent's door. When the superintendent answers, you speak to him as follows: 'Mr. Superintendent, here is a fine barometer. If you will tell me the height of the building, I will give you this barometer."<br /><br />At this point, I asked the student if he really did not know the conventional answer to this question. He admitted that he did, but said that he was fed up with high school and college instructors trying to teach him how to think. The student was Neils Bohr.Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-54826114194195652192007-07-31T12:56:00.000-07:002007-07-31T12:57:23.309-07:00Hungry?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEVNqB5bpUn9mT97etXsN7G3XS6pAWdoQaPz1txsZ6nibOv5sXsVaPpUkah6MkTnJjrx1j4zxAu7x1P_WgA4c53UHYuXwyXB_dm9tIYK2Q07dGIzGpTcbTNOBbLDqmESTg6Vrqf-2Tzs/s1600-h/a81_g3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJEVNqB5bpUn9mT97etXsN7G3XS6pAWdoQaPz1txsZ6nibOv5sXsVaPpUkah6MkTnJjrx1j4zxAu7x1P_WgA4c53UHYuXwyXB_dm9tIYK2Q07dGIzGpTcbTNOBbLDqmESTg6Vrqf-2Tzs/s320/a81_g3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5093452551587728306" border="0" /></a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-79606469288283038992007-07-10T13:22:00.000-07:002007-08-05T17:59:37.894-07:00Economics 101+Here are a couple of interesting pieces on economics.<br /><br />First, <a href="http://www.jim.com/econ/contents.html">Economics in One Lesson</a> explains capitalism and the typical mistakes a government will make when they intercede.<br /><br />Next, <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-9050474362583451279">Money as Debt</a> (47 min) gives a somewhat grimmer (and perhaps more realistic) view of the state of the economic society.<br /><br />I often wonder what the right kind of investments are if the doomsayers are to be believed - that the US economy and currency will collapse under the weight of its own debt. I got the following good advice from Wendy over at the <a href="http://www.fool.com/">Fool Message Boards</a> on this subject.<br /><br />- - - - - - - - - - - -<br /><br />Because this is such an important question, I have been thinking about it carefully, rather than writing a "snap" response.<br /><br />In all cases, your actions must follow your personal timeline (short/ long term) and personal risk tolerance.<br /><br />Since you are new, to the METAR board, you may not be aware that I am one of the most risk-averse board members. Everything I write will be colored by my personal need to reduce risk. A risk-reducing attitude is quite different than a market-playing attitude (where maximizing return may outweigh risk considerations).<br /><br />The nature of your question implies that you are already keenly aware of risk. You appear to be trying to reduce the risk of the danger of a falling dollar.<br /><br />The question, "What is the danger <i>to me </i> of a falling dollar," requires careful thought. A falling dollar means "A falling dollar against one or more other currencies."<br /><br />In the U.S., we purchase many goods and services that are produced locally. The cost of these won't be <i>directly</i> impacted by the relative value of the dollar to, say, the euro or the yen. Many of the household's largest expenses -- the cost of borrowed money (mortgage and credit payments), insurance, medical costs, food -- are not <i>directly</i> impacted by the relative value of U.S. currency.<br /><br />The CPI-U (the rate of inflation, including food and energy) reflects the increased cost of living in the U.S. It is calculated by the government (Bureau of Labor Statistics).<br /><br />The risk of a falling dollar impacts inflation by increasing the cost of imported goods, both manufactured goods, and raw materials that we compete for, on international markets (e.g. oil). Producers in (say) China or Saudi Arabia will demand higher dollar prices, to maintain their purchasing power, in the global economy.<br /><br />Another risk of a falling dollar is that foreign lenders (who buy 40% of Treasury debt) may demand higher interest rates, to compensate them for the loss of their interest payments, which must be converted from dollars into their local currency.<br /><br />When you consider investments that will reduce the risk of a falling dollar, you should consider the inherent risk of the investment itself. It won't help to "protect" yourself from the risk of a falling dollar, if you choose a risky investment that loses money.<br /><br />Several of the investments that you mentioned are quite risky, since they attract speculators. For example, currencies are frequently manipulated by central banks and other large players. Commodities, such as oil and gold, are also subject to wide swings, due to manipulation.<br /><br />You asked about hedge funds. These are highly risky, for two glaring reasons. First, the managers take 20% of the profits, right off the top. This means that the fund is forced to take high risks, in order to provide the investor with a greater yield than he could get by investing in a 0.2% expense Vanguard index fund. Hedge funds often use leverage, and speculate heavily.<br /><br />Buying foreign stocks is risky, for the many reasons that any prospectus for a foreign stock mutual fund will list. It really is worth reading the prospectus! You ask about the specifics of different funds. Each will be different. It is your responsibility to read the fine print, and make a judgment call.<br /><br />One risk that the prospectus doesn't mention is that it's almost impossible to calculate whether you are getting a good value on foreign stocks (based on fundamentals), or whether the prices are speculative.<br /><br />This is my advice, which is designed to reduce risk. This advice will not maximize returns, but it will minimize losses and fluctuations.<br /><br />1. CPI-U inflation risk can be mitigated by investing in <i>individual</i> Treasury Inflation Protected Securities (TIPS bonds). TIPS pay a fixed interest rate, <i>and the principal is adjusted upward by the CPI-U inflation rate.</i> This maintains the value of your dollar, based on its average U.S. purchasing power. This is the most direct way to address the impact of the falling dollar's impact on your household.<br /><br />Today is the 10-year TIPS auction (twice-yearly). Get more details on the Bonds & Fixed Income board.<br /><br />2. Dividend-yielding stocks of U.S. companies with significant exports help protect against a falling dollar. A falling dollar makes U.S. goods more competitive overseas, so exports will rise. Foreign sales will be converted into higher dollars, so the dollar profits will rise. Fundamentals of U.S. companies are much more transparent than foreign companies, and many pay decent dividends.<br /><br />The safest way to invest in U.S. companies is to dollar cost average into a low-cost index fund (such as Vanguard's VTSMX). If you want to buy individual stocks, take a look at the BMW Board, which uses an excellent statistical analysis system, for determining when stocks are undervalued (plus, they are strong on fundamentals, which are important).<br /><br />Stocks and bonds should be the backbone of your portfolio.<br /><br />To jazz things up a little (add risk, but also add the potential for reward), you can add a small proportion of currencies, precious metals, foreign exposure, and commodities.<br /><br />You can buy currency-denominated bonds at <a href="http://www.everbank.com/">www.everbank.com</a>. Remember that currencies are manipulated six ways from Sunday! This is riskier than they will tell you.<br /><br />You can buy several different flavors of international funds at both Fidelity and Vanguard.<br /><br />I have small amounts invested in Vanguard's Precious Metals Fund (VGPMX), Energy Fund (VGENX), and Developed Markets Index Fund (VDMIX) and also in U.S. Global Investors Global Resources fund (PSPFX), which sonnypage recommended. You could invest in the corresponding ETFs, and/or in GLD and SLV, the precious metals ETFs. One problem with owning precious metals outright is that they don't pay dividends.<br /><br />The METAR Board hosts members across the spectrum of risk tolerance. I may sprinkle a little of sonnypage's advice into my portfolio, as "spice," but his concentration of assets is extremely risky. It will only work for him if his evaluation of future events is exactly right. I am, personally, too humble to believe that I'm always right, so I diversify.<br /><br />Going back to your original topic:<br /><br />Discussion of risk in future scenarios isn't "fearmongering." The best way for a small investor to avoid loss is to be avoid the potential danger. Each scenario has a profile of risk and opportunity, and a probability of occurrence. Personally, I allocate my resources to reduce my risk, given my evaluation of the <i>probability</i> of the scenario. This may mean that I bypass opportunities, by reducing my exposure to higher-risk investments.<br /><br />I suggest that you write a list of your expected scenarios. Some will be benign. Others will have lurking dangers. Assign a probability to each. Assign the expected return, for each. Assign your tolerance to risk, for each. Allocate your assets based on your combination of risk and reward, given your time frame.<br /><br />Do not risk any money that you will need in the near term. Always keep <i>at least</i> 3 to 6 months of living expenses, in liquid form (money markets and a short-term CD ladder), as an emergency fund. If funding your e-fund doesn't leave any investable capital, don't invest.<br /><br /><br />- - - - - - - - - - - -Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-76291605832970924762007-07-10T12:03:00.001-07:002007-07-20T18:45:45.751-07:00I Barf'd Wine<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDKMYK6ZWg64Fu7sYpaT-3yoX4UFb1GyJrQg2KfKYnS8evgwn4AghWe4CvrpHRg8As6oxE27zATUrFSXuTxvs0moxGgWXSQ3qOtuFf8Jfry-olEwcFj-g-Rf6PQDDjfJe11j9hiDH73U/s1600-h/i-barfd.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmDKMYK6ZWg64Fu7sYpaT-3yoX4UFb1GyJrQg2KfKYnS8evgwn4AghWe4CvrpHRg8As6oxE27zATUrFSXuTxvs0moxGgWXSQ3qOtuFf8Jfry-olEwcFj-g-Rf6PQDDjfJe11j9hiDH73U/s320/i-barfd.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5085646071635042034" border="0" /></a>Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2999424467651858314.post-23811120463617991842007-07-09T20:57:00.000-07:002007-07-09T20:59:29.695-07:00Call me IshmaelFirst post! What do I win?Maohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08907668209537904346noreply@blogger.com0